


Sit still, look pretty

by Jaemins_smile



Series: TxT fics [1]
Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: (?), Alternate Universe - High School, Huening Kai-Centric, Hurt Choi Soobin, Hurt Huening Kai, Jung San | San E/Huening Kai, Minor Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Pedophilia, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22522960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaemins_smile/pseuds/Jaemins_smile
Summary: If you looked at Kai, you would assume he had a normal life at home.Quite the opposite actually.What he had was far from normal, not a drop of normality was in his life.He just wished for one day, he could be free of this abuse, free of thhis trauma. Free from that man
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Series: TxT fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621516
Comments: 10
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a lot more questionable than all of my other ones, the topic is way heavier than my normal fics. 
> 
> If rape, threats of rape, or mentions of child abuse trigger you or make you uncomfortable please do not read this. 
> 
> I in no way condone to ANYTHING in this fic so please don't think I do. 
> 
> I have warned you about what happens in this fic so read at your own risk.

To say Kai had a normal life would be the most incorrect thing a person has ever said, he has the exact opposite actually.

A little back story.

\-----  
Kai and his brother Yeonjun's parents put them up for adoption when they were 8 and 4. They were taken in by a woman named Kyungmi and a man named Yohan.

They were great to Kai and Yeonjun, but then three years after they were adopted Yohan died from a brain tumor.

Two years later their mom married a man named Jung San. He wasn't as great as Yohan. Not at all.

He was an abusive jerk to him, his brother, and their mom. He forced Yeonjun and Kai into not having a relationship anymore.

Him and Yeonjun were always really close and affectionate towards each other, San claimed that it was gay and gross, he didn't like it.

Now, at 15 years old, he barely even knew his brother. All he knew was that he still loved him.

He did some very bad things to Yeonjun and some very disgusting things to Kai. They weren't okay and they probably never would be again, San messed them up bad

\----

Kai had it pretty good outside of his home life, he had friends, good grades, his classmates and teachers all liked him and we're nice to him. He had a crush too, things were going good there as well.

The only problem with things going well with him and his crush would be San. He didn't want Kai being with anyone. As he put it, he was the only one who got to touch Kai.

And then things weren't good at school.

People started noticing things about Kai, the way he limped when he walked, the fact he only wore long sleeves, turtle necks, and jackets, the way he would flinch whenever there was a loud sound, how he would freak out when someone stood to close behind him.

They made fun of him for it. Especially the limping.

"What are you limping for?? You get screwed to hard, you little slut?" A boy named Beomgyu asked from where he was leaning against Kai's neighboring locker.

"And what's with this? Hiding your hickeys?" He tugged on Kai's turtle neck, pulling it down far enough to see his neck properly. "Also, what's with the long sleeves all the time? What are you hiding under there." He grabbed Kai's wrist and went to pull the sleeve up, that was the final straw.

"Enough!" Kai ripped his hand away from the older, immediately fixing the sleeve. "It's none of your business why I have a limp, or what's under my sleeves, or why I wear turtlenecks! I don't have to explain anything to you so leave me alone!" He yelled. He slammed his locker shut and practically ran away from the stunned boy.

His heart was racing as he ran away from the older. He was getting stared at by other students as he ran down the hallway.

He felt sick to his stomach, that idiot came so close to seeing the bruises on his arm, he thought for sure he would've.

He ran out of the school, straight to where his friends were, feeling relaxed as soon as he was with them.

"What's got you so worked up?" Taehyun asked with a raised eyebrow.

He shook his head slowly, "Nothing, just Beomgyu." He said quietly, it wasn't new for the boy to harass Kai, everyone knew about it.

"He's still bothering you? Why don't you go to the principal or something?" Soobin asked sadly. He hugged Kai and pat his head.

The action made his heart flutter, and it brought a smile to his face, "It's okay hyung, it's nothing I can't handle."

"Are you sure? If it gets too bad, please go to the principal." He kissed Kai's head and smiled. A light blush dusted Kai's cheeks as he nodded.

He could hear Taehyun gag and say something along the lines of, "Get a room." He shot him a deadly glare at that.

"Hey! Kai, come here!" Beomgyu yelled as he ran over, slight anger on his face. Once he reached Kai's side he grabbed his arm and started to pull him away.

Soobin didn't like that, not in the slightest. He wrapped his arm around Kai's waist and held him in place, glaring at Beomgyu.

"Let go of him Soobin I need to talk to him, alone." Beomgyu said pulling on his arm again.

"Whatever you have to say to Hyuka you can say in front of me and Taehyun." He said, arm tightening around Kai's waist possessively.

He smiled slightly at that. He placed a gentle hand on Soobin's cheek and looked him in the eyes, "It's okay Hyung, it'll only be a minute, and we won't go to far." He kissed the older on the cheek and pulled away from him, following Beomgyu away.

"Make it quick."

"Look um... I just wanted to say sorry for the way I acted. I seen what was under your sleeve." Beomgyu said quietly, looking at the ground.

Kai's eyes widened in horror, he seen!? How!? He could've sworn he pulled away fast enough that he didn't, this could be bad.

"You can't say anything to anyone." He said quickly, his heart practically beating out of his chest.

"I wouldn't do that to you, I'm mean to you but I'd never stoop that low. Look Kai, I just want you to know that if you ever want to talk about it I'm here, I know what it's like." He squeezed Kai's shoulder and walked away.

Those last few words shocked Kai to the core, he knew what it was like? Did he have the same thing happen to him or was he misunderstanding?

He was confused and akso worried. He hoped Beomgyu was just misunderstanding, he didn't want anyone else to have experienced this, the thought made him sick.

Kai quietly opened the front door, he could hear vegetables being cut up in the kitchen, it was probably his mom preparing dinner.

He softly closed the door behind himself. As he was slipping off his shoes Yeonjun emerged from the living room, looking startled when he seen his brother. His face softened soon after and subtly pointed to the living room. That's where San was.

He nodded and made a beeline for the kitchen to help his mom with anything. She set him to work on cutting the rest of the vegetables.

He was so focused on cutting the vegetables how she asked he didn't hear San enter the kitchen. He only noticed when he felt hands on his hips and lips against his head

He jumped about a mile high, his heart skipping a beat. He had almost cut his hand with the knife.

"Careful now Kai. Wouldn't want you getting hurt now would we?" He breathed in Kai's scent, pressing his lower body against Kai. "That wouldn't be pretty, would it?" He ran his hands up and down Kai's body, pressing feather light kisses behind his ear.

He could see his mother from the corner of his eye, she looked sad and disgusted. Disgusted it was happening in the first place, sad that she couldn't do anything.

Kai took in a deep breath, it coming in shaky. He tried to proceed cutting the vegetables but was forcefully turned around by San.

His breathing picked up as he was pinned against the cabinet, his wrists held in an imposibly tight grip, he could feel fresh bruises forming.

"You're hurting me." He said weekly, he pulled against the man holding him down. Fear taking over his body when his grip just tightened.

"You're hurting me, let go. Let me go." Tears were threatening to spill over as he violently pulled against San, trying to break free.

He let go of one wrist and brought his hand down hard on his cheek, a loud smack echoing through the kitchen.

Kai stayed still, his head still turned from the force of the slap. His cheek burned, he could still feel San's hand on his face.

"Don't talk to me like that, you know better. You know what happens when you disobey me, don't you? Or have you forgotten that to?" He grabbed Kai's chin and violently turned his head forward.

"Yes I do. I haven't forgotten." Kai said quietly, still not looking at San.

He could see Yeonjun standing in the doorway, glaring daggers at San. Their mom had disappeared from the kitchen.

San lowered his hand from his chin and dropped it all the way down to the waistband of his jeans. He forcefully shoved his hand down his pants, gripping his cock, squeezing it harshly.

Kai shut his eyes tightly, and bit his lip to stop it from quivering. "Turn around." San growled in his ear. He completely released Kai so he could move freely.

He glanced back to the doorway, Yeonjun had just turned around and was walking away.

He left. Just like he always did.

As disgusting as it was, Kai listened to the older man. He turned around, his legs were shaking so bad he thought he was going to collapse.

San pulled his pants down and grabbed his hips, his grip was strong, bruises forming there as well.

In one swift motion San was balls deep in Kai. He scream in pain, his tears finally spilling from his eyes.

The burn he felt was horrifying. He didn't even get the chance to adjust to the size and the pain in his ass.

The pain that radiated all through his body was unbearable, he felt like he was dying. He'd never felt pain like this before.

San pulled down the collar of his shirt and bit down hard on the exposed skin. It felt like he broke skin but Kai wasn't sure.

San thrusted into him quickly, grunting as did so. His grip on Kai's hips tightened as he sped up his thrusts.

Kai sobbed loudly and scream as he sped up, it was so painful and disgusting. He felt horrible.

He gripped the edge of the counter tightly, so tight his knuckles were white. He bit his lip hard and hid his face in his shoulder.

Within seconds San was coming inside of Kai, groaning loudly as he rode out his orgasm. He pulled out as soon as he was done and left as quickly as he came.

Kai fell to the ground, his legs finally giving out underneath him. He was shaking violently, he was having a panic attack.

It felt like his lungs were closing, he tired to get air into them but it wasn't working. Tears streamed down his face quickly as he tried desperately to take in breaths.

His chest and head hurt so bad he thought he would pass out. By the end of it he was so tired he didn't even bother moving himself to his room, instead he just pulled his pants back on and passed out on the kitchen floor.

He woke up the next morning in bed, tucked in. He assumed Yeonjun moved him sometime after San had went to bed.

He took his sweet time getting ready for school, dreading going downstairs. He knew what was waiting for him.

Once he had nothing else to do he went down, backpack over one shoulder. He kept his head down, avoiding the eyes of everyone.

"Kai." Yeonjun whispered from the living room, beckoning him over.

He looked at Yeonjun confused but went to him anyways. He was immediately wrapped in a hug, "I'm so sorry Kai." He said softly.

"I'm so sorry I left you, I'm sorry I always leave you. It'll be okay soon Kai, we're going to get help. I'll get us help." He kissed his younger brother on the temple and released him.

"Just hold on a little longer okay? I promise I'm getting help." He kissed Kai on the forehead, leaving the room right after.

"Kai! Let's go!"

San pulled over on the side of an empty street, silent for only a moment. "Suck me off." He said as he pushed his chair back.

Kai stayed silent as he felt his heartbeat pick up speed, his stomach turned in disgust.

He couldn't do this much longer.

_Just hold on a little longer okay?_

Yeonjun's words rang in his ears as he slowly looked over at San.

He was met with a look of annoyance and impatience.

_I'm getting help, I promise_

He took a deep breath, he unbuckled his seat belt and got down on his knees in front of San.

He already pulled his cock out of his jeans while he was waiting for Kai to move.

He carefully took the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head. He shut his eyes tight as he went down further, disgust filling him to the brim.

Before he knew it San was coming down his throat, thrusting in and out as he came, choking Kai in the process.

"Fuck yeah baby. Go sit back in your chair and take off your pants. Spread your pretty legs and look nice for me." He stroked Kai's face as he spoke.

"Yes sir." He said quietly and moved back to his chair.

San had already taken his soft dick in his hand and started stroking it while looking at Kai. He was getting off to Kai.

_It'll be okay soon_

Kai replayed those words in his mind as he pulled his jeans off hesitantly spreading his legs.

"Touch yourself Kai." San ordered as he aggressively pumped his dick. He threw his head back in pleasure closing his eyes.

That was the final straw.

No way was Kai getting off in front of this freak. He's never even gotten off under normal circumstances.

He thought it would be in his best interest to just do it but he just couldn't. His hand hovered over his crotch, shaking horribly bad.

He couldn't do it.

He stayed still as seconds ticked away, his hand still shaking. San was coming in his hand minutes later, he looked over to Kai, anger spreading over his face, "Why aren't you doing as I said?"

"Because I don't want to."

He tucked his dick back in his pants and turned to facs kai fully, "Do what I tell you, slut." He growled.

Kai shook his head and immediately regretted it. San's fist connected with the side of his head hard, he yelled in pain and covered his head with his hand.

"Don't ever disobey me again Kai. Put your pants on you slut." He adjusted his chair and started the car. His anger was obvious in his movements.

Once they arrived at the school San turend to him and grabbed his chin, pulling him forward far enough to kiss his forehead.

"I'll be picking you up today so you better have fixed this little attitude of yours okay? Be a good boy for me and start listening." He said right in Kai's ear.

He then turned his head and captured his lips with his own, kissing him hard. He forced Kai's mouth open and shoved his tongue inside, liking all around his mouth.

Kai felt like he was going to cry, it was so disgusting and weird. He whimpered pathetically and tried to pull away. San growled in response and grabbed the back of his head and kept it in place, continuing to kiss him.

He finally pulled away to catch his breath, he turned to Kai once again and stroked his cheek, "Have a good day at school."

And with that he was getting it of the car. He was about to throw up, he felt so disgusting.

If it wasn't Beomgyu bullying him it was someone else, this guy however was much taller and much stronger than Kai.

"Fucking tell me what your hiding or I'll fuck you myself." He said as he pinned Kai against the wall.

"Fuck you!" Kai said, spitting in the man's face.

He slapped Kai across the face and flipped him around, smashing him into the wall.

This was bad.

It was much scarier since they were in the completely empty classroom.

His breathing speed up drastically, "Get off of me." He said repeatedly, squirming underneath the bigger man.

"Get off him right now." A voice growled from the doorway. The man turned around in shock, releasing Kai.

He took that chance to slip away and run to the opposite side of the room.

The voice belonged to none other than Soobin, thank the Lord for Soobin and his amazing timing.

The man shoved past him and ran out of the room. Soobin was at Kai's side in a flash, "Did he do anything to you? Are you alright." He asked softly.

"I'm fine Hyung, he didn't do anything to me. If you had shown up any later he probably would have." He hugged Soobin and buried his face in his chest.

"Thank God you're okay." He pushed Kai away gently and cupped his face. His eyes kept darting from Kai's eyes to his lips and then back to his eyes.

He leaned forward hesitantly and kissed the younger softly. His heart fluttered as soon as their lips connected, he wrapped his arms around Soobin's neck and kissed him back.

Soobin dropped his arms down to Kai's waist, pulling him closer gently.

The older boy poked Kai's lips with his tongue, silently asking for permission to enter, he opened his mouth of course, unconsciously whining into Soobin's mouth when he felt his tongue against his own.

He tightened his arms around the others neck and whined again. He pushed forward, adding more fever to the kiss.

They broke away for only a moment to catch their breath before connecting their lips again.

Somehow Kai ended up being picked up by Soobin and placed on one of the desks. He had himself pressed between Kai's legs, rubbing his thighs gently.

Kai's whining quickly turned into small moans. Soobin was an expert at using his tongue.

"Is this to much?" Soobin asked when they broke apart to breath. It made Kai so happy to know that he cared enough to ask if it was to much for Kai.

It wasn't. He fully truted Soobin, he trusted him with his everything.

"No, it's fine." He brushed Soobin's hair from his face and kissed his forehead and hugged him around the neck.

"I like you Kai. Will you go out with me?" He asked quietly, sounding almost unsure of himself.

He felt his heart break then, "I like you too Soobin Hyung and I would love to go out with you but I can't."

"Oh." Was all Soobin said for a few minutes, "Maybe some other time." He pulled Kai down from the desk and kissed him one last time.

"Let's go meet up with Tae, he's probably having a fit that we aren't there yet." He grabbed Kai's hand and led him out of the classroom.

One week

That's all it took for his life to completely fall apart.

He arrived to school on Monday like he normally would, this time he had walked, he wasn't with San.

As soon as he stepped foot inside he was being cursed out. For what reason he didn't know.

He brushed it off and went to his locker.

His stomach dropped, his heart stopping in fear.

Pictures were taped to his locker.

Of him and San.

San kissing him, San forcing him down on his dick, San fucking him, him riding San as he marked his chest. There were even pictures of what he was hiding under his sleeves and turtle neck.

Where the hell did these pictures come from?

These were all from such private places it was horrifying. Where did this person find these pictures?

He pulled the pictures down and ripped them apart, horror evident on his face.

One picture in particular scaredthe living hell out of him.

It was of him, just him. He was sitting on his bed, shirtless. Blade in his hand, dragging it across his bicep. All of his bruises on full display, all of his beating scars. Everything on display for everyone to see.

"Who did this!?" He scream, he spun in a circle, looking at all of the disgusted faces of his schoolmates.

He picked out two faces in particular, Soobin and Taehyun. They looked disappointed, Soobin more than Taehyun.

Taehyun looked more sad than disappointed.

Soobin looked.... disgusted.

This could not be happening. No one was supposed to find out.

Soobin moved forward, pushing through the crowd to get to Kai. "Soobin." He said weakly, his voice cracking.

"Don't talk to me, don't ever talk to me again. Stay the hell away from me Kai, you disgusting freak." He said, disgust lacing his words. He turned on his heal and left. The crowd erupted into cheers when Soobin spoke.

His chest tightened uncomfortably, he just lost the one person he cared about more than anything in the entire world.

His heart hurt so bad, it was overwhelming, all of this. His situation with San, loosing Soobin, the whole school turning on him. What made it worse was they were misunderstanding it all, he wasn't willingly doing this with San.

He looked to Taehyun again, who gave him a sad smile and brought his hand up to his ear, thumb and pinky out, telling him that he would call later.

Beomgyu emerged from the crowd, looking pissed. "You guys are sick! Did any of you even care to actually looking at the pictures!? Kai isn't fucking enjoying any of that!" He pulled the picture from Kai's hands and held it up, "This is not someone who is okay with what that man is doing to him! Look at his physical state, that is proof that he isn't okay with this! Someone who is happy with themselves and their life wouldn't be cutting!" He threw the picture to the ground.

He glared at everyone for a minute, "How do we know that picture is real?" Someone asked. Beomgyu grabbed Kai's wrist and pulled his sleeve up, revealing fresh purple and black bruises all over his arm, scabbed over razor cuts, fresh ones as well.

A majority of the crowd shut up when they seen his arm, their faces paling at the sight in front of them.

He ripped his arm away from Beomgyu and pulled his sleeve down, crossing his arms over his chest immediately.

"There is something wrong with you people if you believe he is wanting this to happen." He grabbed Kai by the shoulders and helped him get out of the hallway and back outside.

"Are you okay Kai?"

He shook his head slightly. "No." He said, his tears falling right after. He sobbed loudly and covered his face with his hands.

Beomgyu pulled him against his chest and pet his head comfortingly, "I didn't think so." He said softly.

"No one was soupposed to find out." He said between sobs. He hugged the older tightly as he cried.

"I know. But they did and there is nothing you can do about it Kai. Listen, I know what you're going through is hard, I'm here for you." He brought Kai over to one if the benches and rolled up his sleeve.

There were faded scars on his arm and what looked like burn marks, "I've been through this to Kai, trust me when I tell you that you'll get through it."

"I know that you probably want to give up but don't. Help will come to you soon Kai, you just have to hold on a little longer. All of this pain will be worth it when you get to the end of the road. Trust me, I know." He hugged Kai again and kissed the top of his head.

"It'll be okay Kai, i promise."

Two weeks ad passed since his personal life was exposed, two weeks that he dealt with his schoolmates bullshit, two weeks was the amount of time it took for him to crack.

He went to school pissed, ready to shut these idiots up. Like everyday before they were crowded around his locker.

They started cussing him out just like yesterday, calling him a slut, a dirty bitch, a disgusting piece of shit.

He took a deep breath and pulled his shirt off, showing everything, they quieted. He held up his wrists, "You see this? Bruises from that man in the pictures. His name is San, he's my mom's husband. These bruises are from him pinning my wrists against the wall so I can't get away from him."

He let it sink in before pointing to his hips, hand shaped bruises very noticeable on his pale skin, "Hand marks from him raping me. That bastard did this to me."

He then pointed to the scars littering his chest, arms, and neck, "These are all from him hurting me. Biting me, hitting me, scratching me." The people's faces twisted into those of horror.

He pointed to the fresh cuts on his arms, "This is the result of his abuse. I cut because it's the only way I can escape the pain."

His eyes weld up with tears, this was extremely hard for him to do, "What you saw in those pictures was not me willingly fucking with San. That was all forced upon me and I couldn't do a damn thing about it or he would hurt me and my brother." He pulled his shirt back on as well as a jacket.

"How do you feel now that you know the truth behind those pictures? How do you feel knowing that you people have bullied and abused me for something you didn't know the truth of? I hope your happy with yourselves." He shoved his way through the people, trying to get to class.

He was silently crying as he practically ran to his first class of the day, he could hardly breathe. It was so hard for him to not break down in the middle of class.

He quietly opened the door to his house, he felt so drained and like absolute death. He didn't have to energy to deal with San today, he desperately wanted to just go upstairs and sleep the rest of the day.

"Kai! Baby come here." San said patting his lap.

Kai bit his lip to stop himself from crying. He slowly made his way to San and sat in his lap, "Why do you look so sad baby boy?" He asked as he stroked Kai's cheek. He made Kai wrap his arms around his neck, bringing them much closer to each other.

He could faintly hear Yeonjun take in a deep breath, he was angry.

"I don't know."

"I know what will cheer you up." He kissed Kai forcefully, his hands dropping down to the young mans butt, kneading the soft flesh. Bucking his hips upwards, connecting them with Kai's.

Kai whimpered loudly, his entire body shaking as he held back his tears. He pulled away from San and dropped his head to his shoulder.

"I can't do this anymore." He sobbed loudly, he finally broke down, his tears soaking San's shirt. He could feel the older man tense under him.

The room was silent, presumably in shock. "Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to deserve this? What did any of us do? Why can't you just be a normal parent?" He took in deep breaths as tears kept falling from his eyes.

"Take him to his room." San hissed to Yeonjun and forcefully pulled Kai's arms off him.

His brother was quick to jump to his feet and pick his little brother up and bring him to his room.

He carefully set the still crying boy on the bed. He brushed the hair off his forehead and kissed it afterwards, "I'm sorry Kai." He whispered.

He woke up the next morning with a splitting headache from his breakdown the night before.

He reluctantly went downstairs and was immediately wrapped in his brothers and his mothers arms.

He pushed them both off, fear crossing his face as he looked around for San, "Kai, he's gone." His mother said and kissed his forehead.

He was speechless, he was in shock. San was gone? "For good?" He asked quickly.

His mother nodded and hugged him again. Kai felt like this was a dream, San was finally out of his life, he could finally have a normal life again. He could finally be around his brother again.

He felt tears fall from his eyes, a big smile spreading over his face. He hugged his mom tight and cried into her shoulder. They weren't sad tears, they were tears of relief and happiness.

Finally for the first time in years he could breath freely. He could walk around his house without the nagging fear that he would be thrown down and fucked.

He could finally hug his brother again, finally talk to him again.

He was free. Finally.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, i forgot t upload it! Lmao

It's been a month since San has been gone. A month since his life started to calm down and be normal. 

Kai was able to be around Yeonjun again, something he missed dearly, he loved his older brother so much, Yeonjun was his best friend. 

Life at school was still awkward, there were still people who didn't believe that he was actually being forced to do the things he did. 

But there were also people who did believe him and tried to make things easier and more comfortable for him. 

He had people supporting him on his journey to recovery and were great to him, like Beomgyu, and Taehyun. 

Soobin still hadn't come around and still hated Kai's guts. He for some reason didn't believe what Kai had said, he believed everyone else over the boy he wanted to date. It made no sense to Kai and confused him so much. 

He accepted long ago that if people found out about the things that were done to him that they would leave and act like he wasn't being raped and abused and was instead willingly going along with the things done to him. 

It was messed up but he learned to deal with it. 

He learned to deal with a lot of messed up things over the years.

As much as he wanted Soobin to accept the truth and be his friend again, Kai knew it wouldn't happen, even though he wanted to believe that wasn't true because he loved Soobin, he had to accept it. 

— 

Soobin wouldn't say he hated Kai, he was just off about him now. 

After seeing those pictures of him with that man, he couldn't trust him anymore, even if he claimed that he was forced to do it. 

He trusted Kai, and liked him, and had even asked him out. 

Maybe that was the reason Kai turned him down back then. Because he was fucking around with some adult. 

He felt betrayed by Kai for fucking with some man and leading him on. He claimed that he liked Soobin and wanted to go out with him and had even made out with him, he didn't feel comfortable or trust him anymore. 

How could he after that? 

He wanted to believe Kai was telling the truth but how could he believe anything that came from his mouth at this point? 

Soobin wanted to still like Kai and maybe even finally take him out and treat him to a nice dinner but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, as much as he hated himself for it he just couldn't. 

Deep down he knew Kai was telling the truth and he really had been being raped and abused but something on the surface was forcing him to be mean and treat Kai awfully for it. 

He'd been friends with Kai since the young boy first got to the school and had always been nice to him, he didn't understand why he suddenly felt like being nasty to him

He would fix it eventually. Hopefully. 

—

Summer break had just ended, everyone was back to school and had seemingly forgotten about what Kai's problem, which he was thankful for. 

Everyone except Soobin. 

It broke his heart that Soobin was still treating him like garbage for it. He trusted Soobin with his everything, he trusted him enough to allow the older t kiss and touch him. 

And then ultimately, in the end, he was betrayed. 

Soobin had seen a side of him no one else had seen before. Whinny, submissive, needy, cute Kai. 

He couldn't handle it anymore. Especially not after the months of dealing with Soobin giving him the cold shoulder and treating him like shit.

He approached Soobin at lunch, thankfully he ate alone in an empty classroom. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" Kai asked softly. 

"Doing what to you? I'm not the one doing anything to you. I thought I told you not to talk to me anymore, sick fuck." Soobin spat out. There he went again, treating Kai awful. 

"Doing that! You're treating me like absolute trash, Hyung! I've done nothing! Why don't you believe me that I wasn't doing any of that stuff willingly? I only ever wanted that kind of stuff from you, not him. Do you really think I'm that disgusting to want my step dad, my moms husband, to shove his dick up my ass?" Kai's voice was shaking badly as he spoke. Tears threatening to spill from his wide eyes. 

Soobin was silent. He never knew that was his step dad, now he felt even worse about treating Kai badly. And yet, he couldn't stop himself from being awful. 

He stood up and pushed Kai against the nearest wall, "Is this what you wanted, Kai?" He hissed. He grabbed both of his wrists aggressively and pinned them above Kai's head. 

He could see the absolute terror in the younger boys eyes when he was trapped against the wall. He could see that Kai was shaking and breathing heavily. 

And yet....he did nothing except close his eyes.

Even as silent tears made their way from his closed eyes. He did nothing. He didn't move. He just stood there, body tense. 

Kai hated that he had this reaction. San had beaten it into him so many times not to fight against it, that he could no longer do it. He just took it.

He hated that he couldn't do anything more than stand there and wait for the pain to come. 

It never did however. Soobin never moved after he pinned Kai's wrists above his head. That only made him more scared than before. 

A quiet sob made it's way past his lips as the silence and wait stretched on. He hated when it was dragged on even more than he did when it was fast and immediate. 

"I-I c-can't." Kai let his head fall forward, hanging between his and Soobin's bodies. "P-Please. I can't. L-let me go. Please!" He cried out. 

His body was shaking violently now as he begged to be let go. Soobin was horrified. 

"I can't! P-Please, I'm begging you! Let go. Please don't do this, please!" His voice was loud but it still sounded so small and broken. 

"I don't want to hurt anymore!! I don't want to do this anymore!!" He choked out between hiccups. 

Soobin didn't know what to do. He couldn't imagine the things Kai has been through for him to act like this when Soobin barely touched him. He really was an ass wasn't he? 

Soobin slowly let his wrists down from the wall, barely catching the younger when his legs gave out and he fell for the floor. 

"Sh Kai, I'm sorry, it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." He hugged the small boy to his chest as he continued crying hard. 

He couldn't believe he treated Kai, the boy he was in love with, so badly for something that scarred him that deeply. Something he had no control over. Something he never wanted to take part in in the first place.

All this time he could've been helping and supporting Kai through this difficult time of recovery but instead he chose to spend it being an ass and making his life that much harder.

"You're okay Kai, you're okay." Soobin ran his fingers through Kai's hair, rocking him gently. He could feel tears of his own forming, he couldn't believe he treated this poor broken boy so awfully when all he needed was support and maybe a hug. 

He decided in that moment that he would start working on fixing his and Kai's relationship. He would be there when the younger boy needed him, no matter what. 

He was going to make sure to make up for all the wrong he's done to Kai. He never wanted to see Kai like this again, he hated it so so much. Soobin just wanted to see him smile and be happy. 

Kai stopped crying and was now silent and still. He was confused. 

Why didn't Soobin do anything?? He's never had that happen before and he didn't understand why it had happened. 

"You didn't do anything.." Kai's voice was so so small. "Why?" 

Soobin wanted to cry. He hated that Kai was like this. He had only ever known what San did to him, he didn't know what consent was like. 

"Because Kai, you didn't want me to. I'm not a bad person and I would never rape or hurt you." He hugged Kai tighter and kissed his head. 

He pushed the younger boy back and cupped his face, looking into his eyes. Soobin's face showed nothing but guilt and remorse

"Kai, I'm so sorry for treating you so badly, I don't know what came over me. I never want to hurt you again, I love you so much and I never want to see you hurting like that again. I wish I would've realized all of this sooner so I could've been there for you sooner, I'm so sorry Kai." A few tears escaped from his eyes as he spoke. 

Soobin felt truly awful about all of this and meant every word he said. 

"Soobin, don't cry please." Kai whispered. He used his thumbs to wipe away the stray tears from Soobin's cheeks. 

Even when he was hurting and sad he was still the kindest most caring person Soobin had ever met and it made it harder to believe something absolutely awful happened to him for possibly years on end. 

"I cant help it. Thinking of how awful I've been to you when you needed my support makes me feel awful. All this time I could've been there by your side while you recover but instead I've been being an ass and hurting you. You deserve so much more than what you've been given in life, I'm so sorry Kai, my dear sweet Kai." Soobin pressed the softest kiss to the boys forehead. 

"I know I've been awful but I want to fix and change that. Will you let me be there for you in the future? I want to see you be happy and see you smile and I want to be there to help you do that." His voice was sincere and soft and calming for Kai to listen to. 

"Of course I'll let you stupid. I love you." Kai leaned forward and pressed their lips together gently. It was more of a touch of lips than a kiss, Soobin didn't care though. Neither of them did.

This was what mattered. Kai being with him and allowing him to be in his life again. That's all Soobin cared about right now. 

He was going to make things easier for Kai from now on, he was going to help in any way he coukd from now on, he vowed to do so. 

Why? Because he loved Kai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the way I wrote this and how I finished it up, cause personally I'm really happy with it. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> I might be doing a second part just t like show what happens after, what goes down with Soobin, just that kind of thing. Would y'all read it if I did?
> 
> If you have any complaints about my fic or you just want to talk contact me on Twitter!  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jaemins_smile/)


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